Liverpool mum Sarah Sandison thought she would suffer for a few weeks after having her son, but the reality was much different
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Is she depressed, or does she just need some rest? Nobody tells you exactly how bad sleep deprivation can get.
When pregnant, I thought I was prepared for the few weeks of night feeds before my baby would learn the difference between night and day. I thought the baby would begin sleeping through the night after a few weeks, so we could enjoy our days out, walks in the park and play dates.
There seemed to be loads of tips and 'tricks' about getting your baby to sleep through the night. So much so, I honestly didn’t give it much thought.
READ MORE:How four different 'parenting styles' could influence who your children become
I certainly wasn’t prepared for the tumultuous nights ahead. Or the effect nine months of very little and broken sleep had on my ability to function as a parent, a partner and an employee.
My son just didn’t seem to want to sleep. White noise, blackout blinds, swaddling, little baby sleeping bags, night time routines, relaxing baths, night lights, self soothing, nap lengths, food analyses, sleep training, controlled crying, lights on the ceiling. I tried everything!
Sometimes something would work. We’d see some sweet, sweet progress, swiftly followed by a soul crushing sleep regression. Or worse, a cold, or teething. It felt hopeless.
I was so tired I felt nauseous. So tired I’d forget things. So tired I couldn’t sleep when I finally had the time to. So tired I was irritable, short tempered and emotional.
It’s not just the lack of time spent sleeping, it's that the sleep you do get is poor quality. Sleeping in one or two hour snippets deprives you of REM sleep, which plays an important role in your emotional health, learning, and memory.
Missing out on REM sleep means the sleep you do manage to sneak in is less restorative. That can leave your nerves shot and send your mood straight to hell.
I was diagnosed with depression and off I trotted with some delicious little pills. But in retrospect, maybe I just needed a break? I’d never had depression before and I haven’t had depression or acute anxiety since. So did I really have a recognised psychological condition? Or was I simply so exhausted that I presented as though I did? I guess we’ll never know.
Looking back these are some of things I didn’t do to help myself.
So despite having tried all the tricks, I have absolutely no advice for you. Just sympathy.
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